August 14, 2009
Who's Coming Over To Dinner?
by Joel Burke
Program Director
KYGO
Denver, CO

It was a hot and dusty day in May of 1927. An 18-year old dreamer was graduating from Oak Cliff High School in Dallas, Texas. He was already enrolled to attend Rice University in Houston to study architecture. He wrote about his hopes and wishes, in his high school scrapbook.

On one page he wrote about his experience while riding a mule, in the mud, to a party. He had a fun night that included chicken for dinner with homemade ice cream for desert. His college years at Rice were fulfilling and he was close to graduation. His dream of becoming an architect was getting closer and closer.

During the summer of 1931, he met a young lady who was a senior in high school. In a short period of time, they quickly fell in love. In spite of the conviction of this soon-to-be college graduate, a baby was conceived. Before the teenage girl could break the news to him, he was seriously injured in an accident. It was so serious that nothing could be done for him. His dreams of being a college graduate and becoming an architect were over. This young man with a thousand dreams ahead of him ended up spending the next forty years in a Texas state hospital. He was in a vegetative state until his death in the early 1970s. This person was my grandfather, Young Shanahan.

Meanwhile, the teenage girl was sent away to wait for the arrival of a baby. The healthy baby was born on May 1, 1932. That baby was my father.

Even though I heard this story many times growing up, I really never gave it much thought until recently, in the years after my father suffered a severe stroke. And that’s when I started to wonder about who was my grandfather.

Just prior to my father’s stroke, he gave me my grandfather’s high school scrapbook. I have to admit that I barely looked at it until recently. Now, I have been going through it over and over again. He was involved in theatre and public speaking (which may explain why I was drawn to being in radio!) I went through the pages of the scrapbook with the hope of trying to understand and get to know the grandfather I never knew, and who never knew my Dad.

Even though I had solid adopted grandparents who gave me the Burke name, and had awesome grandparents on my mom’s side, I began to reflect on “what if” regarding my grandfather, Young Shanahan.

I began to wonder what it would have been like to throw a football in the front yard with him, or what he would have said the first time I won a race in track meet.

As I reflected on my life of the past couple of years, and the life my grandfather never had, I first had to evaluate my own life. I had to reflect on the dreams that became a reality, those that didn’t, and the struggles along the way. Also, I began to realize that there has been something missing from my past and that I didn’t even know about. There had been a gap of time that had been frozen. It was time to break the ice.

The first step was to invite Grandpa Shanahan over for dinner. Yes, we would have chicken and then ice cream for desert.

My whole life, there had been an empty chair at the dinner table and I didn’t even notice. It was the spot reserved for my grandfather, Young Shanahan. During our visit, we would spend hours catching up on our lives- both the dreams and the disappointments. We would laugh and we would cry.

Now, that “empty chair” is gone for me, and I smile when I think of my grandfather. I think he would proud of me and I proud of him.

Maybe there is an “empty chair” in your life. There could be someone or something that needs to be confronted. Someone or something from the past which is a void that needs to be filled. Don’t waste any more time. Invite someone over to dinner and let go of the past.